That's how it feels sometimes. I try to bike as much as I can. Attempting to stay in the moment as much as I can. For me that is the salvation to stay in the moment. Not in the memory, not in the mind. I can do that so easily, slip off in my mind thinking about whatever. I want to be here not there. I want to stay in this world. So I bike and try to look at the trees and the birds. It is rabbit season right now. I saw I bet 11 or 12 this morning on the greenway. Little ones and big ones. I saw an owl the other day. It was hooting up a storm, kinda hard to miss.
I also try to stay positive. In this day and time it is important to be positive. Even when my mind and gut are telling different. I try to raise to the occasion and get positive.
My life is a series of ups and downs and nothing is stable. There are days when I think I should just give up my dreams and go back to work, doing whatever I can make a living at. I keep dreaming that something better is going to happen. So far I get crumbs and the occasional gig, but not enough to survive on. So I don't know. I just don't know.
I love photography, I love music, and books. Once I could live on these loves. Now I don't know, I just don't know.